Learn to Surf with Mary Osborne (and me too!)

Photo by Ray Butler

Adventure. Surfing. Inspiration. Yoga. Camaraderie. Fun!

Sounds good, doesn’t it?

[Cue drumroll please, followed by a set of five magisterial coronets]

I am totally, unabashedly stoked to report that I will be joining Mary Osborne, champion longboarder, professional surfer and all ’round great gal, to help teach at the Maui Jim’s Women’s Adventure Series. I’ll be at two of the five locations the retreats will be held: La Jolla, a beautiful suburb of San Diego, California in June and then in late September we’ll be on Maui for the final retreat. I’m so excited to work and play with Mary and to meet the participants.

So if you’ve always wanted to learn to surf or want to improve your round house cutback in a supportive and inspiring atmosphere, then come and join Mary and me for a long weekend in one of five beautiful locations.

And if the following video doesn’t get you stoked to come and join us, then you better check to make sure you have a pulse! 😉

Fish Magic

Yesterday, after a long hiatus from fishing due to a broken collar bone, Felipe our caretaker, caught three fish. My dad and I were duly impressed that he hadn’t lost his touch with the fishing line. A friend of mine, who has a reputation for being a successful fisherman, says that it’s all about numbers. “You catch one fish for every thousand casts.” Felipe’s odds are more like three to ten. He’s a ringer. And unlike the guys who drive down here from Colorado, California and Portland, he uses nothing but a hand line.

Most of the local Mexicans use hand lines to fish. It is literally just fishing line, a weight and a hook with some bait, and in Felipe’s case he keeps the line organized and under control by wrapping it around a 4”x3” piece of wood. The weight is often makeshift, a stainless steel nut or other piece of heavy metal. Casting is a technique that takes some skill. He swings the line in a circle over his head as if it were a lariat and then throws it into the surf. The casting is critically timed with the surf action, so that the out-flowing water takes the line into deeper water rather than pushing it back to shore.

The fish Felipe caught yesterday were all what he calls pescado blanco (white fish). These are what other Mexican’s call “lisa” or white mullet. When I asked him what he did with them, he said he cooked one for the dogs that morning and that he’d eat one later that day. I asked him if he thought he might be able to catch a guatchinango (red snapper, my favorite fish) for me to share with my father. He looked at me confidently and said he would catch one the following day. He said he’d seen some in the waves that morning. I was a bit surprised by his confident declaration and didn’t put much faith in it.

The next morning upon rising I looked down the beach to see Felipe fishing with three of our dogs lying in the sand nearby. It was comforting to see him back in his usual position casting out into the surf. I went about my morning routine, but a couple hours later a knock came at the door.

“I have your guatchinango,” he said, nonplussed. “If you come to my house to get it in a few minutes, I will have it gutted and scaled for you.”

I thanked him, closed the door, and still not really believing it myself went out to the patio to my dad the news.

“No!” he said in utter disbelief.

Later when Felipe handed the fish to me, I noticed it was the perfect size for three people to share. My dad and I had a dinner date that evening with my friend the artist.

If you know anything about fishing, you know that this was a virtual miracle. I felt a bit like Captain Picard of the Star Ship Enterprise – it was as though I’d issued my command to Felipe, “Make it so.” My artist friend said it speaks to my ability to dictate my desires to the Universe, but I think it says more about Felipe’s ability as a fisherman.

The local ranchers have often commented to me about his ability to catch fish as though he has some kind of gift.

When the subject comes up more than once one of them has said, “Felipe is a good fisherman. He always catches fish even when others come home still hungry.”

I never put much stock in what they said and figured it had more to do with how often he fished than the results. They are ranchers after all and I guessed would be prone to making assumptions about his abilities. How could they know how good a fisher he was? I also imagined Felipe would, in his manner, smile shyly and not correct them when they said, “So Felipe you must be quite the fisherman?” But what I didn’t realize was that their knowledge was, in fact, first hand.

Yesterday, Felipe came to the house to tell me he was leaving to walk three miles to his friend Lloyd’s ranch.

“What for?” I asked, always wary of the potential for him to get fall-down drunk when he leaves the property.

He looked at me like I he was always beyond reproach and said, “I want to take the extra fish I caught to Lloyd.”

“Do you want a ride?” I offered.

“If you’re going to drive,” he said matter-of-factly, “why don’t you take it to them yourself?”

Lloyd’s ranch is a modest place, a concrete block home painted white with no stucco on the blocks. The ground around the house is bare sand with a few sprigs of dry grass, most of chewed short by the goats. I was greeted noisily by a couple of very skinny dogs, followed by Lloyd’s wife, Luisa.

When I pulled the fish out and handed it to her, she told me he often gives them his catch. I inquired further and discovered Felipe gives a great deal of the fish he catches away. To families who live in ramshackle houses with dirt floors, no electricity, no plumbing and often not much in the way of food. Families who are truly “dirt poor.”  They are right – he does have a gift.

Screwing the Planet with Plastic

Whether you take her out for dinner and a movie beforehand or not, there is no excuse for your continued screwing of the planet. This is to you, the people who continue to use disposable plastic bags like there is no tomorrow (kind of a self-fulfilling prophesy, isn’t it?). You know who you are…you keep meaning to get a reusable bag or two, but keep putting it off. Or you think, by golly, it’s got to break down eventually, so what’s the big deal? Well, you lazy SOB,  I’m not going to ask you again, just STOP IT!! In case the ALL CAPS didn’t tell you already, I’m pissed off, so angry my chest is tight and my fists would be clenched if I wasn’t typing this. I’ll tell you why.  I recently visited the Maui Central Landfill to drop off some building materials left behind by the previous owner of our new property here. It was a windy day, as it often is in central Maui and as we approached the landfill entrance we were greeted by a spectacle that sickened me and made me question where I was. Hundreds, no THOUSANDS of plastic bags and pieces of light-weight plastic were flying through the air, out of the landfill and into the fields and trees nearby. I expect this kind of thing in Mexico, but on MAUI? It was like a snowstorm, but much more sinister. A shitstorm really. Several bags drifted high in the air like kites, tumbling around and up and over and, I imagine, ultimately make their way into the ocean. If not with the wind, then the next heavy rainfall will certainly help them make it to the sea. It made me my stomach tighten and my throat constrict.

So you out there, ya you, the one still using plastic bags instead of reusable bags, just STOP. There is no good reason for your continued blatant fucking of the environment. (yeah, I’m that mad)By order of all that is right and good in the world, by order of the marine environment, the turtles, whales, dolphins, fish, seals, countless sea birds, and all other life in the ocean, we hereby do order all the world’s human beings to stop using disposable plastic bags. Stop making excuses and think about the consequences of your actions. If you don’t have several reusable bags already, then BUY SOME! Quit making excuses and think about what this single, stupid act is doing to the planet. Think about all the ocean animals choking to death on your plastic bags!!

Some statistics in case you’re still not convinced plastic bags are evil:

500 billion: Number of plastic bags consumed worldwide every year (1 million per minute)

92 billion: Number of plastic bags distributed yearly in the US

500: Years it takes a plastic bag to decay in a landfill (much longer in the ocean)

4.175 million: “Average” person’s plastic-bag legacy, in years

Still not convinced? Here are some more facts:

Unlike organic debris, which biodegrades, plastic that enters the ocean disintegrates into ever smaller pieces without changing its chemical structure. This process continues down to the molecular level. As the plastic flotsam degrades into smaller and smaller pieces, it concentrates in the upper water column. The plastic ultimately becomes small enough to be ingested by aquatic organisms living near the ocean’s surface (fish fry, algae, zooplankton, barnacles floating on larger pieces of plastic). This is how plastic waste and the chemicals associated with it gets into the food chain (yours, mine and the ocean’s).

Some plastics decompose within a year of entering the water, leaching potentially toxic chemicals such as bisphenol A, PCBs and derivatives of polystyrene into the water. These chemicals then bioaccumulate and biomagnify up the food chain.

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch is an area of exceptionally high concentrations of floating plastics, chemical sludge, and other debris that have been trapped by ocean currents. Plastics outweigh plankton biomass in this area 45:1 (note: only 10 years ago this ratio was 6:1). This floating mass of industrial and domestic waste is estimated to be somewhere between the size of Texas and the continent of North America.  Yes, it’s MASSIVE. Located in the open ocean, in an area so isolated researchers have only recently begun to study it, the Patch is having untold impacts on marine organisms. Below is a YouTube video that summarizes how the Patch formed and the research recently conducted by Scripps Institute.  


Doesn’t this disgust you? ENRAGE you? How have we allowed this to happen? If that doesn’t get you to act, then let’s try some direct evidence of the impacts of plastics on marine animals.In this photo, an endangered sea turtle is seen trying to eat a plastic bag that it mistook for a jelly fish or seaweed. 

Thousands of marine animals and birds, many in danger of extinction, die each year when they suffocate trying to ingest plastic bags. Thousands more die from intestinal blockages from eating plastic.
In this heartrending photograph taken by Terry McCormac off the California coast, a sea otter mother is frantically trying to get a plastic bag off the head of her suffocating pup. 


Look at this closely…Are you sick yet?
This video contains graphic images of the impact of plastics on the ocean environment produced by the Algalita Marine Research Foundation.  

Okay, after all that we need some good news. 
Thankfully, plastic bags are going to be banned on Maui and Kauai starting January 11, 2011. (In my opinion, the delay in instituting the ban is unforgivable.) San Francisco, Denmark, Taiwan, Ireland, Hong Kong, the town of Modbury, England, and India have all either banned the use of plastic bags or imposed taxes on their use that have resulted in significant declines in use (up to 95% in Ireland). Bangladesh slapped an outright ban on all polythene bags in 2002 after they were found to have been the main culprit during the 1988 and 1998 floods that submerged two-thirds of the country. Discarded bags choked the country’s drainage systems. California is trying to pass a bill to ban the use of disposable plastic bags throughout the state. Mexico City is trying to institute a ban on plastic bags. The plastics industry has responded by initiating a audacious PR campaign to convince the public that “plastics are an important part of the Mexican economy.”
The National Tree of Mexico – Palo Bolsa Plastica  

There is also hope that even the laziest, most selfish and planet-hating among you will have no choice in the near future. In light of the United Nations Environment Programme’s latest report on marine litter, UNEP’s Executive Director Achim Steiner is advocating for a global ban on single-use plastics. “Single use plastic bags which choke marine life, should be banned or phased out rapidly everywhere. There is simply zero justification for manufacturing them anymore, anywhere.” Amen to that.

Please check out these impressive video links
More on the impact of plastics on the ocean environment from the Algalita Marine Research Foundation.