Have you ever woken up and had that feeling, you know, the one where you feel like whatever anyone does or says, you just might punch them right in the mouth? Unless you’re some kind of divine entity walking the Earth in the guise of human flesh, of course you have.
Today was that day for me.
So what did I do with that feeling? Did I announce I was going to the beach and run away from any and all human interaction like a sane person would? No. Did I ask Tony (calmly and with resolve) to put all sharp objects away and to avoid making eye contact with me? No. Did I avoid drinking coffee – that dark, mood-deepening liquid that tends to irritate my senses? No. Did I turn off the modem and avoid any and all communications? Nope, that neither. And that is where the REAL trouble began.
Instead of doing all the aforementioned things and maybe a few others (take a valium for instance), I sat down at my computer and commenced to pen an email to a friend and neighbor. Without getting into the details, I wrote a nasty, negative, complaint-filled email and basically tried to alienate two of the few friends I have left in this backwoods hell-hole (hmmm, ya, I guess I’m still not over my negativity).
THEN I left and went surfing and got some perspective.
Yes, there is nothing quite like being one with Mother Ocean to clear the head and lend some perspective. Now why didn’t I do this BEFORE sending the nastygram? Why didn’t I show a little humility and just SAVE the email without sending it? Because, like I already said, I’m not perfect. And sometimes, the little shitty crap of life gets in the way of my ability to be good and kind and thoughtful. Sometimes I just wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and then throw a little fuel on the fire by drinking coffee.
For the record, I should never drink coffee. The first time I drank coffee I thought I was going to die. I thought for sure my heart would pound right out of my chest and make a bloody mess of my pajamas. My heart raced that fast. Clearly I have a sensitivity.
But still, I drink it now and then. And if I’m in a foul mood it just cranks up the volume.
The challenge of course came when I returned from my mood-enhancing surf session and realized the full weight of what I’d done. There were replies in my inbox, several of them, and now I had to face the music, pay the piper, bite the bullet shot from my own rifle, swallow that bitter little pill.
So I ate crow. I saw the error of my emailing ways and choked on some humble pie – a pie filled with my own caustic words.
To err is human, to forgive divine.
I hope my friends are feeling Godly.