This is the fifth in a multi-part series. To read from the beginning CLICK HERE.
I stood and gazed at the spinning, vibrating portal beckoning me to leave my Earthly bounds and travel to the mysterious world beyond. I felt light, as though my feet were barely touching the ground and I knew all I had to do was relax and accept the invitation and I would be whisked away. But to where? And who would be on the other side? My mind raced with questions as I was gripped by the fear that entering the portal would be the end of me, I’d be atomized, and cease to exist in my present form, maybe in any form. I pictured my body vaporizing and my life being over. No soul remaining, no new life, just complete nothingness. It struck me then that the invitation to pass through to the other side may have come from a dark force. I shuddered. No, I would not go. I shut my eyes and mentally declined the invitation. When I opened my eyes again a second later, the vision of the perfect wave was gone.
In its place was the scenery as it should be – a gentle bay headed by a line of dark bedrock jutting from the sea’s glassy surface, small waves breaking in the rock-strewn near shore, the sandy, rolling landscape dotted with cacti. Everything was normal, except for the colors. They were still psychedelic. The sea had turned golden like the sky had been in my vision moments before and now the sky was cotton-candy pink. At its center, the sun continued to rise, continued spinning wildly clockwise, and still looked like the portal vibrating in and out. I couldn’t take my eyes from it and felt its vibration in every cell of my body, which hummed, I thought, at the same frequency. That’s when I noticed five objects or symbols at the center of the portal. They were light grey, but blurred. I could not make out what they were, but I sensed that they held meaning if only I could discern what shape they had. The sun, I realized, was only visible as the outside edge of the orb I was looking at, and there was a second circle inside the sun. The planet Sirius. A chill went through me. Sirius? The planet I’d been drawn to my whole life, I now realized, was connected to our Sun by an energetic portal. My mind quickly understood the connections were not physical, but energetic and that Hikuri was allowing me to see the energetic connection between these two heavenly bodies.
I was becoming aware now that knowledge was being imparted to me in a non-verbal manner. I suddenly “knew” things that I previously had no knowledge of. For example, the fact that Sirius is not only the brightest star we can see from Earth and therefore the “sun” of the night sky, but that it is also the giver of energy to our sun and therefore our entire planet. The God Star, as it were.
GOD = DOG
Something I overhead Ayax say to Mio early in the night came flooding back to me. “Oh yes,” he said, nodding and looking over at me, “Dawn is definitely a Sirian.” I didn’t know what he was talking about then, but now I understood. In my minds’ eye I saw a flash of blue atomic particles and understood them to be a Sirian being. Sirians are not physical beings, but are energetic in nature. Then I saw a cloud of these blue particles entering my soul the day I was born. Within me I carry the energy of a Sirian. Sirians have been sent to Earth to help us.
This was all a bit much to absorb and as I stood there staring at the sun, trying to comprehend what I was learning, Crystal approached, touched me gently on the shoulder and tilting her head towards the house, softly said, “Come Dawn. We are going to eat something.” I looked towards where she’d gestured and saw Guadalupe standing on the side of the hill that led to Crystal and Fernando’s house. He was looking at me and waiting. Mario was next to him, his back to me, busying himself with something. I felt rooted to the ground and reticent to leave the portal. Crystal encouraged me again to come with her. With great effort I pulled my gaze away from the portal and nodded that yes, I would come. Behind her, I saw Guadalupe turn and continue up the hill towards the house.
I turned to collect my things and as I did recalled that I’d not checked on the moon since seeing the vision of the perfect wave. I looked where it last had been suspended in the sky over the western hills. It was gone.
I sat in the middle of a large table in the small inviting space of the casita that served as Crystal’s kitchen as she prepared coffee, mixed juice-flavored crystals in water and a simple meal of quesadillas. My head was buzzing and felt amorphous, like it was full of air and had no solid boundaries. I declined the coffee Crystal offered me. The idea of eating or drinking anything repulsed me.
I wondered at everyone’s behavior. Was I the only one who felt this way, had seen what I’d seen? Guadalupe and Mario sat a few feet away and to my right at the end of the table. Fernando leaned against the frame of a window behind them, his arms crossed, his usual quiet, introspective self. To my left and several feet away stood Ayax, his hands on the edge of the table and words flooding from his mouth like a plague of locusts. He was talking excitedly about a myriad of topics, but many of them related to visions he’d had on previous peyote journeys. His voice reverberated in my mind and I had trouble following what he said, nor had any desire to.
Slowly my energy shifted and I began to feel more grounded. The chatter, eating and drinking around me seemed to reconnect me to the mundane material world. The coffee smelled good. I pulled myself further out of my trance and asked Crystal if I could have a cup. As she poured my cup, she turned to Guadalupe and asked him how old he was. “Seventy-one,” he said. All of us reacted with surprise. He didn’t look more than 50. Life as a shaman is good, I thought. He looked shy and embarrassed by the attention and Mario, perhaps sensing this, began telling us what it meant to be a shaman’s assistant and how they’d both felt called to come to Los Cabos to bring their ancient wisdom to the people here. He turned to me and said he could use a translator to help him with the English-speaking expats who were interested in their work and I responded as positively as I could. My mind was so consumed with the effects of the peyote that I couldn’t focus enough to have a substantive conversation. Guadalupe sat quietly as the rest of the group conversed. With Ayax’s flurry of chatter on hold between the other discussions, I turned to Guadalupe and told him of my vision of the portal and the perfect wave and of my sense that I would cease to exist were I to heed the call. He and Mario both listened intently and maintained eye contact as I spoke.
“No,” Guadalupe said, shaking his head gently, “You need not be afraid. That is the portal of wisdom. You will learn much if you cross over to the other side.” He said no more.
A conversation ensued between Mario and Ayax about the portal and what it meant, but I was lost in my own thoughts about what I might have learned had I not been afraid to accept the invitation. To lessen the sting of disappointment, I rationalized that it was not meant to be. Not yet anyway.
Ayax had moved to a vacant chair on my right, chattering away. Each of his words was an irritating poke in my brain. Just as I felt myself getting tense, Crystal appeared at my right elbow again.
“Let’s go outside Dawn,” she said.
As we passed from the dimly lit kitchen to the bright exterior I felt my irritation drop away.
“I couldn’t stand to listen to him for a moment more,” said Crystal, reflecting my own feelings. “I need to be somewhere quiet right now. Don’t you agree?”
I nodded my ascent and she showed me to a little building containing a bedroom and a small bathroom. Crystal suggested I lie down on one of the two twin beds. “The boys are going to the beach. You’ll be left in peace here and can relax.”
At first I resisted the idea of lying down in a strange space, but then I realized she was right. I needed to lie down, close my eyes, and “be” with whatever it was that was happening to me.
I lay on my back and relaxed into the softness of the bed.
“Take as much time as you need,” said Crystal as she left the room. I heard her outside ordering her sons to go to the beach and leave me alone.
I took a deep breath and sank further into the sensation of comfort surrounding me. The room was brightly lit, the sun coming in through two large windows on the south side and two doorways located at the east and west ends of the room. I wanted to be in darkness, to have no external stimuli to distract me. I just wanted to “be.”
I gently pressed the heels of both hands on my eyes to block out the sun. However, the blackness I sought was punctuated with fine iridescent green lights resembling early computer screen displays. The lights were fine, long dashes on a black background, intersected by red and blue iridescent lines.
I thought it was a digital representation of peyote and for some reason that thought was comforting. The vision made me a bit uncomfortable though and I decided I needed to get further centered. So I began doing a chakra cleanse.
As I checked in with my first and second chakras, I realized that I was unusually and acutely aware of the status of my energetic body. My root and sacral chakras were fine. But, as I worked my way up, I realized that my third chakra, the solar plexus chakra, was not.
A voice in my head said, Your solar plexus chakra is blocked. You must open this energy channel if you want your heart to open. I was aware of an “other” quality to the voice. It was not my usual inner voice. No, this was a voice of authority and wisdom. I returned my attention to the chakras and saw two helical energy channels running up and down my body in a figure-eight pattern connecting the solar plexus and heart chakras. The energy coming from both chakras was weak and fuzzy, instead of dense and concentrated like the first two chakras.
The voice continued, Your solar plexus chakra is weak because of the emotional pain you experienced as a small child. You must heal the child in order to heal your energy center. You must forgive your mother for not giving you the love and affection you craved. You, adult Dawn, must give that inner child the love she needs.
As the words passed through my head I felt the pain and loneliness of the child I had once been rise in my chest, saw myself looking to my parents for something they were incapable of giving me. Mentally, I embraced the child, pulled her onto my lap and soothed her. As I did so, I was overwhelmed with emotion and began to cry. I kept my hands pressed to my eyes feeling the tears come slowly at first, but soon I was sobbing and the tears ran so that they collected in pools in the wells of my ears.
I don’t know how long I lay there sobbing, but when I was done, I felt a calmness descend that I’d never felt before. I knew I’d released a significant amount of the negative energy I’d been carrying around with me all my life. The voice now told me that my heart would open when my solar plexus chakra was healed. It went on, Surfing is a good way for you to work with your solar plexus chakra. When you lie on your board to paddle, it is your solar plexus that comes in contact with the board. Your new yellow board is good, yellow is the color for this chakra. Put the solar plexus symbol on your boards, especially those that are not yellow. Riding larger waves is good for you. Facing your fears will help open this chakra as fear is an emotion governed by this chakra.
Any voice that told me to keep surfing, to challenge myself in the surf, was a voice I was willing to heed.
In Part VI of Mystic in Mexico, Hikuri imparts knowledge about Dawn’s past lives and the workings of the Universe.